Childhood's Hour
by endlessdreamer13
Summary: Raven, it seems, will forever remain a mystery to the Titans. She’s cold and unfeeling. But what if she had her reasons. What if her dark and painful past was finally catching up to her? Whatever happens, the Titans will never be the same again.
1. Default Chapter

**Childhood's Hour**

**Disclaimer:** Alas, I do not own Teen Titans nor The Spider and the Fly

**Summary:** Raven, it seems, will forever remain a mystery to the Titans. She's cold and unfeeling. But what if she had her reasons. What if her dark and painful past was finally catching up to her? Whatever happens, the Titans will never be the same again.

**Rating:** R

**Note:** I have seen very few episodes unfortunately and from what I have found out about Raven, I will be changing some of it.

At this point in time, I have no idea about romantic pairings, so I'll take recommendations.

Feedback is good.

**Prologue**

****

"Will you walk into my parlor?" said the spider to the fly;  
"'Tis the prettiest little parlor that ever you did spy.  
The way into my parlor is up a winding stair,  
And I have many pretty things to show when you are there."  
"O no, no," said the little fly, "to ask me is in vain,  
For who goes up your winding stair can ne'er come down again."

_Running, running, running. Always running. No matter what happened, she had to get away._

_The Hands were coming, coming to get her. They wouldn't ever let her go._

She woke up, shivering in the coo, night, the last vestiges of her dream slowly fading.

She could feel the bile rising in her throat. She wouldn't allow herself to be sick though. She wouldn't allow herself to be weak.

"Azerath, Metrion, Xinthos," she chanted, feeling her panic slowly subside. _Damn dreams._

She hated the dreams, the dreams and that feeling of helplessness that came with them.

"Azerath, Metrion, Xinthos..."

-


	2. One

**

* * *

Childhood's Hour**

**Disclaimer:** Alas, I do not own Teen Titans nor The Spider and the Fly

**Summary:** Raven, it seems, will forever remain a mystery to the Titans. She's cold and unfeeling. But what if she had her reasons. What if her dark and painful past was finally catching up to her? Whatever happens, the Titans will never be the same again.

**Rating:** R

**Note:** I have seen very few episodes unfortunately and from what I have found out about Raven, I will be changing some of it.

At this point in time, I have no idea about romantic pairings, so I'll take recommendations.

For everyone who's Jewish, I'd like to say, L'Shanah Tovah!

I'm so happy, I've gotten feedback already! I have felt the motivation to write!

One

"Hey Rae! Hungry?" Beast Boy stared up at the older girl. She glared at him. "I guess that's a 'no'. How 'bout some eggs?" He looked at her hopefully.

"No."

"Oh c'mon Rae! Have some fun!"

"Leave me alone."

"Gyaah!" Beast Boy scowled as the pot he held melted. "Why'd ya hafta do that, Rae?"

Raven glared at him. "I said: Leave. Me. Alone."

"Friend Raven, is something wrong?" The dark haired girl sighed as Starfire came up behind her.

The Sorceress sighed. "Everything's fine. I just want to be alone."

"But Rae..." Beast Boy couldn't finish. Raven had left.

* * *

She sat silently on her bed, staring at the empty words on the page before her. _English sucks._

It was truly humiliating. Despite all the books she owned, no matter how many times she read them, the words remained empty, the words remained unknown to her.

She hated it.

The Others were acting up. That couldn't be allowed. The Others would bring her nothing but trouble.

She sighed, wishing she could be like normal people.

_What did I do wrong?_

That was the question of her life. She'd never found an answer. She probably never would.

If anyone had been watching her, had been looking into her eyes, they would have noticed them glaze over ever so slightly.

Raven looked up, determination in her eyes. _I want to die._

Her hand slowly reached for the kitchen knife she'd hidden in her room. She smiled as it slid across her skin.

* * *

"Hello Robin." Starfire smiled as the Boy Wonder walked past her.

He sighed. "Not now Star. I think I may have another lead on Slade." Robin smiled.

"That is good!"

"Rob, this is bordering on obsession. Ya know that, right." Beast Boy looked over from his place on the couch next to Cyborg, their latest game on.

Robin glared at the green boy. "Beast Boy."

The Shapeshifter quickly glanced around the room, looking for a way to change the subject. "Hey Rae!" He jumped up from his place on the couch and ran over to the Goth girl.

Raven sighed. "What do you want?"

Beast Boy looked around nervously, his eyes falling on the Boy Wonder. "Uh...I think Robin has it in for me today."

She scowled. "And what am I supposed to do about that?"

He groaned. "Tell him he's gone insane!"

Raven suddenly turned and glared (more so than usual) at Beast Boy. "No. Just leave me alone."

Raven walked away as Beast Boy's watch melted.

* * *

Three-fourteen. She didn't want to go to sleep. If she slept, then the dreams would certainly come. No, she didn't want to remember. Not ever.

* * *


	3. Two

**Childhood's Hour**

**Disclaimer:** Alas, I do not own Teen Titans nor The Spider and the Fly

**Summary:** Raven, it seems, will forever remain a mystery to the Titans. She's cold and unfeeling. But what if she had her reasons. What if her dark and painful past was finally catching up to her? Whatever happens, the Titans will never be the same again.

**Rating:** R

**Note:** I have seen very few episodes unfortunately and from what I have found out about Raven, I will be changing a lot of it.

At this point in time, I have no idea about romantic pairings, so I'll take recommendations.

Two

_The girl stood in shock at the scene before her. Bodies littered the ground everywhere. Hacked and bloodied, their mutilated flesh stained the ground._

'I didn't mean to!'_ the girl cried. It was an accident! She didn't mean it!_

_She deserved to die. She wanted to die. But not even the Gods would give that to her._

_She was damned._

_And all she had done was laugh._

__

* * *

Raven glared at the face in the mirror. She wanted to change it. She didn't want to be that girl.

She wanted to feel real.

Sighing, she quickly left the confines of her room. As much as she wished to, she couldn't allow herself to hide from the world.

She made herself a cup of herbal tea and sat herself down onto one of the seats. She mourned for herself as she watched the others: Beast Boy and Cyborg fighting over whatever their newest game was, Starfire cooking up...something, and Robin scanning the papers for any sign of Slade.

No matter how much she wished she it, she could never share in their happiness. It was too dangerous.

She noticed Starfire pouring some red stuff into the sink and

* * *

_The little girl slowly entered the room. _'Mama?'_ she whispered, seeing her mother lying on her bed. She got no response. _'Mama?'_ A chill ran down her spine as she saw the blood streaming from her mother's wrists. She cried._

* * *

Raven blinked, forcing the memory back down to recesses of her mind. Now was not the time to remember such things.

She jumped as a hand landed on her shoulder.

Beast Boy cried out as he flew into the wall. "Ow!" He glared at the dark haired girl, ready to make a joke. He stopped. Something in her eyes...

The green boy sighed. "Sorry. You alright?"

_No._ "Yes, I'm fine." She could feel one of the Others trying to take over. She silently screamed. She didn't want that, not now, not ever. "I'm...just a little tired."

Beast Boys face crumpled. "Oh. Alright then."

"I need to go."

* * *

The moment she got to her room, her hand fled to the cutting knife. She needed it, needed it right then.

She refused to cry out as she felt the sharp edge slide across her flesh. Nothing mattered then except feeling.

* * *


	4. Three

**Childhood's Hour**

**Disclaimer:** Alas, I do not own Teen Titans nor The Spider and the Fly

**Summary:** Raven, it seems, will forever remain a mystery to the Titans. She's cold and unfeeling. But what if she had her reasons. What if her dark and painful past was finally catching up to her? Whatever happens, the Titans will never be the same again.

**Rating:** R

**Note:** I have seen very few episodes unfortunately and from what I have found out about Raven, I will be changing some of it.

At this point in time, I have no idea about romantic pairings, so I'll take recommendations.

Feedback is good.

Three

She eyed them all. She was jealous. They were all so happy, so carefree. Their lives seemed so meaningful and hard. They didn't know how hard life could be. They never would.

She wished that she could be like them. She was jealous. Yes, she had no problem admitting that.

She wanted to be like Robin, strong, brave...she wanted to be able to look death in the eye and still fight.

She wanted to be like Cyborg, happy, hyper, friendly. If she were just able to join in and allow herself to play a video game, maybe then she'd be able to fit in more.

She wanted to be like Starfire, innocent, happy, friendly...and innocent, how she wanted to be that.

Beastboy. Raven closed her eyes. She could never decide whether or not she liked him. He could be driving her crazy one minute and the next she felt like hugging him. Not that she ever would.

Beastboy was a jokester, something she could never be. He knew how to have fun. He loved his power.

She wished that she could have at least one of those traits.

Raven sighed, knowing that things just seemed hopeless now. What would she do if her friends ever found out the _real_ truth about her?


	5. Four

**Disclaimer:** Alas, I do not own Teen Titans nor The Spider and the Fly

**Summary:** Raven, it seems, will forever remain a mystery to the Titans. She's cold and unfeeling. But what if she had her reasons. What if her dark and painful past was finally catching up to her? Whatever happens, the Titans will never be the same again.

**Rating:** R

**Note:** I have seen very few episodes unfortunately and from what I have found out about Raven, I will be changing a lot of it.

At this point in time, I have no idea about romantic pairings, so I'll take recommendations.

**Three**

****

****

Beast Boy eyed the Goth girl. As usual, she had sat herself down onto the couch, a book in hand. How she could even be interested in those books, he'd never know.

He grinned and made his way over to the lavender haired girl.

* * *

Raven sighed, English just wasn't her thing. A few of the Others wouldn't let it be. Every time she would try and learn to read, they'd take over and keep the knowledge for themselves.

_Stupid them._

There was nothing she could do though; it wasn't as though she could just get rid of 'them'. No matter what she did, she was their 'prisoner'.

She groaned, feeling Beast Boy sneaking up behind her. Couldn't he just leave her alone for once?

"Hey Ravie!" Apparently not.

"What do you want?" Maybe for once he'd take a hint.

"Well," he grinned, "I just got 'Attack of the Mutant Mushrooms'! Wanna watch?!"

_'Attack of the Mutant Mushrooms'? _Where in the world did he find this stuff? Raven glared at him. "No."

She could practically hear him deflate behind her.

"But..." Beast Boy, again, tried to make his case.

Raven turned around, glaring at him. "I said no. What do you not understand about that?"

* * *

Beast Boy groaned, flopping himself down onto his bed. Raven had shot him down, not like he expected her to do anything differently, but she could have at least had the decency to sound angry.

He just couldn't figure her out. He had no idea what went on in her...He broke out into a huge grin.

Her mind. The mirror!

Beast Boy had a plan. Now all he had to do was somehow get himself to that mirror!

* * *

"You asked her WHAT?!" Cyborg let out another burst of laughter. "I can't believe you did that!"

The changeling scowled at the older teen. "It's not _that_ funny."

"It is!"

Beast Boy groaned. "Well, what _can_ I do? I mean, I can't say _anything_ to her without annoying her! And she can't even _sound_ annoyed when I talk!"

Cyborg smirked. "You asked her to watch Attack of the Mutant Mushrooms' for cryin' out loud! You honestly expected her to go for that?"

"Well...uh..."

"You are hopeless!"

"Well," Beast Boy moaned, "What can I do?"

"Well, for one thing, you could try askin' her to do things _she'd_ like to do. That would be one way not to scare her away."

"Okay, okay."

"Just don't do anything stupid."

"Alright! Alright!" _I really hope that's not I'm going to do._

The green boy slowly crept into Raven's room, with every step praying that she wouldn't find him. 

He walked over to her drawers and began to dig through. Hardly anything was even in them.

Opening the next drawer, he found himself turning bright pink. _Undies!_ He quickly shoved them back in. His hand hit something. _Wonder what that is?_ He pulled it out. It was a book.

He was about to put it back in when his eyes caught something shining by the bed.

The drawer on the nightstand was opened a crack. He opened it and pulled out the mirror. _Bingo!_

Beast Boy looked into the mirror, and once again, felt himself being drawn into the sorceress's mind.

* * *


End file.
